Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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