seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
be right there i have to get my cape
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
