I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
