I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
