i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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