is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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