found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
