she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this will be a night to untag.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
