This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
