I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
