can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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