How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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