Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
