No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
