ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
