This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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