and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
