no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
