ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
