who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
