Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
