He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We are all done wearing pants today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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