Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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