You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
