i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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