At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
