One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
