I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
