Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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