I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I party with great urgency now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
