it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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