Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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