And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
