I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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