hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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