i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
