Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
