Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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