Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
