Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
