We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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