According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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