I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I looked at my own cervix.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
