I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dignity is for republicans.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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