kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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