Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
