Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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