i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
