do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
