Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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