I murdered the dance floor call the cops
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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