ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
His nipple licking is glorious
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