marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
