guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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