peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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