I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
