Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
