he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
