so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
