Apparently you make a good broom.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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