That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
