i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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