they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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