What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
