someone get that fucking seahorse.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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