you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
