I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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