I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
