Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
