would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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